I wish I could take credit for this

I realize that most people who read this may also read my brother-in-law's site... but this is too funny not to have a link on my site...

All you sexy people out there... Enjoy

I can think of nobody that will enjoy this more than my friend Jake. (who should start writing his blog again but too busy being smart and getting a doctorate... whatever, dude)

New Toy

Well here's an experiment. I got a new digital camera from my wife for Valentines Day. Finally got all the software hooked up and needed to take it for a whirl.

So this is Sophia. She always has this look on her face that she want to tell us what is going on in her head, but can never get the words out correctly. You can see though why I have such an optimism for the future.

But you can also see that she has a beautiful smile and is a happy child in general. Just wanted you all to be able to put a face with a name. Yes, she is hugging a penguin wearing a tu-tu... Don't ask...

A Big VD

Saturdays are the worst days for my wife and I. She works during the day (9-5:30) and I work at nights (6-1ish). Whenever we see an event on the calendar that's a Saturday (Valentine's, anniversary, birthday) we smile at each other, nod, and realize we won't be spending it together.

Today was no exception as we arose at 7:30 so I could get her to work by 9 and then start Daddy-Daughter Day (hey it brought Homer and Lisa together, don't judge). As my wife worked her fingers to the bone, I was at home watching DragonTales and playing with blocks.

Time rolled around for the exchange and my wife made the offer for me to keep the car to get home quicker at 1:30 and she'd take the bus home. There's only one problem with that - I wouldn't get to see her.

After dropping Sophia at her grandparents, and in keeping in touch with her over text, I met her bus somewhere on Columbia Road. I ran on the bus, gave her some flowers, a kiss, told her I loved her and ran off the bus.

So there the Valentine's day I spent with my wife... 30 seconds on the bus... You know what... I wouldn't give that 30 seconds up for anything...

What Happend to the Day Dream?

Is it wrong that I want my daughter to be a day dreamer?

I was listening to the radio and heard an ad for an electronics liquidation sale this weekend. One of the items that caught my ear was personal DVD players - $49. I feel like these are marketed to parents to distract their kids... Especially in cars.

I used to sell cars. We'll say this car company rhymes with Shmonda. One of the selling points we would hammer home (for just 2 grand more) was the DVD players in mini-vans and SUVs "to keep those little whipper snappers in line and distracted."

I'll admit one of the worst things on the world is sitting in traffic with an unhappy baby... But there's a flip side to that coin... I love peaking in my rear view mirror watching Sophia watching the world go by when we're moving. Sure, the wiggles are playing on radio but you make sacrifices for you kids.

The point is that I want Sophia to see the world go by, question what it is, and be interested and dream about being out there.... Besides... There's plenty of time for Bob the Builder at home...

Simple Pleasures of a Thirty-Nothing Daddy

Being a father is one of the most nerve racking, but wonderful experiences. Much like the rest of my life, 9 times out of 10, I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm making it up as I go along.

But for 18 months, my daughter Sophia has grown unto a little person. While preparing dinner, I let Sophia run around the kitchen. It was rewarding to know that she is at the age when I can trust her to explore, but at the same time keep my eyes on her. Maybe its the fact that I've had thirty-something years to take this life for granted that I get sheer joy watching her discover the world for the first time.

To be honest, I envy her at times... How cool would it be to not know and discover a fire truck for the first time or to have that wonderment of seeing and feeling snow for the first time? Its the moments of our children that bring us back to our own past and make us appreciate the lives we have and hope they are not doomed to make the same mistakes we made.

Obama/Lauer Super Bowl Interview (Finally)

So, as promised, I just went back my DVR and re-watched the Matt Lauer/Barack Obama interview... I have to say that I think Frost and Nixon both rolled over in their graves... But holy crap was it entertaining. I know this will be a long post, but bear with me please.

First of all, am I the only one who noticed the chompers on Obama? We haven't had pearly whites like that in the White House since the Carter administration. Up until this point I had only had noticed his Wil Smith-esque ears.

The interview starts with Matt Lauer asking about living with his mother-in-law. All I can picture, for some ungodly reason, is Martin Lawrence in Big Momma's White House. I can only hope that Michelle's mom is running around the White House in a house coat putting plastic covers on the furniture.

Obama does a nice job of convincing us he's a regular guy with an extraordinary job. In describing adjusting to living in the White House, he comments that he, "has a great home office." If you or I had a home office, we'd have a computer, a desk, maybe a filing cabinet... He's got the Oval Office... That's a pretty freaking cool home office.

Matt Lauer decides to turn the table and start getting serious. They talk about the sobering war in Iraq. But here is where Lauer does something I hate. Here is the direct quote:

"10s of millions of people watching you right now, if they were to have access to the same information you have on a daily basis... How much less sleep would we all be getting?"

Go back and read it again... I'll wait...

Under the Bush administration, the American people were spoon fed that we were constantly to live in fear from terrorists and the boogeyman. The media propagated this constantly - foiled terror plots, anthrax, how vulnerable are we, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11... And here's Matt Lauer... RIGHT BEFORE THE MOST WATCHED EVENT YEARLY, DOING THE SAME THING... Hey America, don't forget, you should be scared shitless at what the President knows, but you don't.

While answering the question and rightfully praising out troops, they flash to a group of soldiers watching in a war zone. (God Bless 'em, they're doing something I never could) I hate this because its so blatantly staged. They show 13 soldiers (5 sitting, 8 standing) in a room just chillin in front of a 27" bubble TV. It honestly looks like the worst way possible to watch the Super Bowl... Gee sarge can I stand here for 4 hours watching the game? Show me a mess hall full of drunk marines watching a 78" HDTV and playing with knives. Those are the guys and gals I want protecting my freedoms.

They then shifted to the economy. I like the fact that Obama at least tries to be a straight shooter. He said we're going to be in for a tough couple months before it starts to get better. W's administration always tried to put off what we all knew was going on. The war - making progress, the economy - not to bad, wire tapping - not that expansive. Obama at least tries to let us know stuff is going to suck for a while.

While during economy talk, NBC lost audio for about 15 seconds. My favorite part was hearing all 4'2" of Bob Costas panicly saying, "Did we lose it? Did we lost it?" I could hear the NBC tech staff collectively pooping their pants. Nothing makes me happier than impromptu pandemonium. God I miss George Carlin.

After asking the "tough" questions, Lauer switches back to a fluff piece.
I won't bore you with the BCS College Football Champion talk or the fact the Barack got a sweet dig on Kurt Warner saying they were about the same age. The Prez did make the wise and accurate prediction that it'll be a close one that the Steelers will "eek out it the end."

Here's where Matt Lauer loses all credibility with me because he turns into a 15 year old girl.

First thing: Lauer has the balls to "rub it in" that Barack picked the New England Patriots last year over HIS New York Giants... Gee Matt, what jersey number were you wearing? I think someone running for leader of the free world gets a pass on picking an 18-0 team (like the rest of America did)...

Numero dòs: They talk about the Barack-berry. Aside from making lame-ass James Bond jokes about security associated with it, Lauer asks who's in his phone and if he can have the number. It was like watching a high school nerd asking the football star if he wants help with his biology homework to get in with the cool kids.

Third: Matt Lauer says stupid things... Again, a direct quote:
"So, you've been elected President, and there is a certain amount of fame that comes along with that."
Ugh... In other breaking news Mr. Lauer, water is wet, China is in Asia and my brain hurts.

Last but not least... The coup de gracé... Matt Lauer pulls out an US weekly and shows Obama the lovely family photo inside with Barack, Michelle and the kids all smiling. He praises the photo but then shows the cover where the photo of him has been removed leaving Michelle and the girls and the following ensues:

ML: They took you off the cover.
BO: Yeah... It's a little hurtful.
ML: You got replaced by Jessica Simpson.
BO: Yeah, who's in a weight battle apparently... Yeah... Oh well...

I lost my shit. I laughed and laughed and laughed. The President just called Jessica Simpson fat. You know who I feel bad for - Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboy's quarterback. Every football fan in America just saw the President of the United States say your girlfriend is apparently in a weight battle.

The interview then wraps up with Obama giving a "special shout out" to our armed forces. Well at least Obama didn't raise the roof... They then go back to the shot of army guys in a room and since its on a minute satellite delay, THEY'RE STILL LAUGHING AT OBAMA'S JESSICA SIMPSON COMMENT. I think we can all agree they need a good laugh every once in a while.

So in a year where the movie Frost/Nixon is nominated for numerous oscars, I think we'll all look back at Lauer/Obama and nominate it for several Razzies...

Super Blah XLIII

Like every other red blooded American male in their 30s, I love football. And every (now) 1st weekend in February I bow down to my corporate master, consume my share of the 49.5 million pounds of guacamole and watch the final game in an NFL season that began 9 months ago with the draft - The Super Bowl.

One of the conundrums I face is that while I love football and would watch a Sunday afternoon game between Random Team A and Random Team B, my lovely bride does not share the same enthusiasm as I do for the NFL. She tolerates me watching the Redskins (sometimes), but can't understand why I enjoy watching random games. On top of that, Sunday is the one day a week that neither of us work, so we have to get things done and watching 12 hours of football (pre-game shows, 1 PM game, 4 PM game, highlights and the 8 PM game) for 18 weeks in the fall isn't condusive to that environment... Unless I want to sleep on the futon and start seaching for divorce lawyers.

The Super Bowl is a different animal though. Its not a game, its an event and even my beautiful bride knows that.

This, however, is the first time I didn't follow the hype leading up to the game. I knew who was playing but a) I didn't have a dog in the fight, b) I didn't have time to follow slightest detail as I have in years past and c) the Redskins sucked 90% of my joy of football this season.

Before I get to the game itself... Here are a few random thoughts:

Matt Lauer's interview with President Obama: I'm letting you know this will be a post in and of itself because I was so flabbergasted by it. I immediatly hit the record button on my DVR and will need to go back and watch it again. Two things that stick out in my mind though - Matt Lauer tried to put the fear of God in the American People and President Obama called Jessica Simpson fat... Both instances made my jaw drop and laugh uncontrolably.

Best Marketing Placement: Jennifer Hudson sang (very well by the way) the National Anthem. I am still one of those corny Americans who still feel a swell of pride and fight back the tears when I hear a GREAT version of the National Anthem (even if it was prerecorded). After she finishes and they go to commercial, what is the 1st commercial? Its a movie trailer the opens with the Eiffel Tower melting (sweet), explosions (awesome), hand to hand combat (getting awesomer) and end with Dennis Quaid... The G.I. Joe (A Real American Hero) movie trailer following the National Anthem... BRILLIANT!

HalfTime show:
After Janet's boob ruined MTV's stake in the halftime, we've had a retread of old time rockers including U2, Rolling Stones and Tom Petty. This year we got Bruce Springstien, who did an admirable job until the end... Am I the only one that CRINGED when the "ref" came out and threw the flag, but they didn't care they were going to ROCK OUT... Ugh... Secondary boo to his slide crotch first into the camera.

Best Commercial: Bridgestone Tire with Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head... There is no man in America that hasn't wished his wife's lips would fall off... Sorry honey, I love you, but commercial was best of a weak set this year.

Worst Commercial:
I love Bob Dylan. He was the voice of a generation in change. But apparently if you throw enough money at a generation they'll sell out. The thing that I hated most about this... Am I supposed to believe that Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas is going to be the voice of the next generation?

Secondary Commercial boos to crotch shots, budweiser horses and GoDaddy.com.

As for the game... I was entertained. The game had a great back and forth, some surprises along the way and one of the most amazing 4th quarters I've ever seen.

Kudos to the Steelers, heartbreak for the Cards. I'm still confused why they didn't review the last play of the game.

But here's the greatest play of the game... After the game, my wife turned to me and said, "Well, I enjoyed that very much." I almost dropped the remote and said explain.

"Well there was that guy who caught the ball and ran it the whole field at the end of the 1st half. Those guys with the pretty uniforms came back on that pass to the femenine looking guy with the dreadlocks and the last catch to the black and gold guy was on his tippy-toes."

Well... It's a start... My wife enjoyed the game, not the Super Bowl, the game itself... The draft is in 3 months... I'll keep you posted.

Clearing up some Misconceptions

Hello... My name is Stephen and I'm a Thirty-Nothing... and that's not a bad thing...

After sharing the fact that I now have a blog and reading my posts, friends and family have contacted me a let me know that they don't enjoy the fact that it seems I hate myself. Let me assure you, this is not the case.

I have two great jobs that I enjoy and do very well. These jobs allow me to provide for a family that loves me. My friends are supportive, entertaining and great people to be around. I have a great home, a car and an HD TV... I love my life and wouldn't trade it for anything.

My friend Jake, who I've known almost 10 years (can you believe that, man) very poignantly said to me, "There are probably a lot of "successful" lawyers in this town who wish they had a loving wife and beautiful daughter."

With that being said, in my own little world, things are great... In the grand scheme of things I want more.

One of my two jobs is being a courier, which basically means I'm a thirtysomething delivery boy. So aside from waking up some mornings and feeling life Fry from Futurama, I don't get the cool bonus of having a robot best friend or flying to other planets... And I have a nasty case of boneitis. (probably three people in the world got that refrence)

The point is that there are some things I want to change in my life... I want a better job, I want more time with my family, I want to lose 20-40 lbs, I want my life to be better... But I feel like this is the first time I'm saying it out loud, holding myslef accountable, and (in a public forum) allowing others to hold me accountable.

It is fitting that Obama just took office. His election and inaguration's theme was simply change. There are going to be tough times ahead but, but we were mired down in 8 years of mediocrity, irresponsiblity, and complacency (i can't spell worth a damn). Now its a new beginning.

Are we going to fix things overnight? No.

In the long run will we make things better?

Yes. We. Can.

The Universe rights itself

As I said, I'm a courier who works 2 nights a week.

I just got pulled over by Montgomery County Po-po but was let off with a verbal warning when I explained to the officer I was on my way to Baltimore to pick up blood from the Red Cross to bring back to local hospital.

We're even for the flat tire.

Something in a Thirty-Nothing world

It was brought to my attention that I painted myself in a bleek light. But not to dispair, this thirty-nothing has at least two great somethings in his life.

The first is my wife. After reading my post, she told me that the description I gave in the previous post wasn't the man she married and frankly "wasn't someone she would want to be around." I don't blame her. God bless her, she's never given up on me. Nobody in my family has.

The second is my daughter. Almost 18 months ago my life change and I did become the most important thirtysomething I could - a daddy. I'm not being bias, but she honestly is the most beautiful thing in the world. 

  My family are the ones who believe nothing can be turned into something, and they always have. I guess that's the point of this blog... Let's have some laughs, but also, let's watch and see if a thirtynothing can turn into a thirtysomething.

The saddest thing in life is wasted talent. - Lorenzo, A Bronx Tale