The Internet's True Purpose

While driving my wife to work today, she asked me a question - Do you know the state bird of DC?

Now before all you Captain Persnicketies say 'hey the district is a district, not a state,' let me continue...

I honestly didn't know (thought it was the finch) so I jumped on my phone, accessed the internet, googled 'state bird of DC' and *PRESTO* got my answer and even a picture.

Except for Al Gore inventing it, I don't know much about the internet. The story I grew up with was that it was a university project for remote access of information and the ability to share research with others. My brother-in-law is probably trying to punch me in the kidneys through the computer right now.

But the fact remains that was once was designed (or should have been) as a tool for learning is now a travashamockey of that.

For some reason, the internet thinks I have a small penis and problem getting it up, it thinks I need a new mortgage, a new job and to take college classes. I need perscription drugs, cheaper travel deals and asian hookers who do it all night long. What would my life be without improved credit reporting, movies delivered to my door or spyware protection? Don't forget, your life isn't complete until you've seen Joe America popping a zit on his face while Jane America tells us all about why whole wheat toast is a conspiracy to keep us out of Area 51. And a special shout out to all my friends on MyFaceTwit?

It seems to me the school has become a market place and not much else. Granted, I enjoy the fact that I can find matching Elvis salt and pepper shakers, but sometimes all I need to do is find out something about DC's state bird: the wood thrush... And even the name of that bird could probably be considered a porn site.

Didn't see that one coming

Octo-mom was a topless dancer...

'Nuff said. No jokes, no witty remark... Just...

Octo-mom was a topless dancer...

Manly feeling

I haven't felt this manly in a while... I'm driving to Home Depot with a pocket full of cash to buy a shower filter (which I will have to install), picture hanging stuff (which I will have to hang) and browse garden stuff to prepare for replants.

Might be to much... Maybe will stop for cosmo or double mocha latté frappichino ice coffee thingy...

POST SCRIPT: (2 PM)

Yeah... those feelings of manliness are gone. I just got back from home Depot where I bought two window box planters and a dozen flowers to go in them... what kind of flowers you ask... Pansies.

Why did I buy the pansies? Because I thought they would look pretty in our back yard and didn't know the name of them was until after I made the decision to buy them.

I'll be back I have to go chug a quart of motor oil and talk about football.

Nothing Ventured, nothing lost

Beautiful wife: Honey, the baby is finally asleep. Do you want to do our workout video?

Pudgy ThirtyNothing: Nnnnoooo. I'm still sore from yesterday's workout.

BW: So am I, but you have to work through it... That's good pain.

PTN: Yeeeeaaahhhh... But there are Mallomars in the kitchen... And I need a cigarette.

*Sigh*

Know your role

When I got home from work today, there was still more work to be done. There always is. If you get home from work and there isn't still work to be done, then you are either a) filthy rich or b) harboring Hungarian students in need of Visas. (and come to think of it... that would require a lot of work too).

I'm a big fan of puttering. I was first introduced to this term when my mother and father had vacation and decided not to go anywhere. I spoke to my mom mid week and I ask how things were going. "Your father is puttering about, keeping himself occupied." My father, to his credit, managed to hang wallpaper in bathrooms, clean gutters, mow lawns, fix various non electrical things around the house, have a full christmas display every year. Mind you, this didn't all happen over the same vacation, it just became habit for him.

Now its my turn. Things have to get done around the house. Certain duties just fall into your lap and you have to take care of them when you have time. I vacuum our ever shedding rug, change the cat litter, run and empty the dishwasher... Ho hum tasks that need to get done so your wife wont yell at you.

Every so often in new putter gets thrown into your routine. You have to hang a picture, change some laundry, (and my favorite) assemble some furniture. You take what you can get. Today's was planting my spring garden. That'll be a post for a different day. Green thumbs run in the family... hope it didn't skip a generation.

The added part of this is having a 19 month old while you do it. I tend to let Sophia run about. If I'm doing stuff in the kitchen, I trust her enough to handle her business in the living room. Besides, thanks to many wonderful relatives, we have many, many noise toys to help keep tabs on her. Thanks guys, no... really... thanks... I will admit that it is funny when Sophia guides the vacuum around the living room. It warms the cockles of the heart, maybe even the sub cockles.

Ok... Gotta wrap this up... have to be at work in couple hours and still have some puttering to do...